I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
It confuses me when parents tell their daughters that their male friends can’t come to sleepovers like do they think they’re going to have sex with them IN FRONT OF ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS?
ORGY, IT’S CALLED AN ORGY
Ah yes, I participated in many orgies when I was 12.
- Anyone in the world: Let's watch the Princess Bride.
- Me: As you wish.
Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
Then Inception happens